Dear Fill in the Blank Here
by hyper13
Summary: What happens when Derek goes snooping in Casey's room and finds an envelope of letters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own LWD, but if I did it would not be on Disney channel. Somehow I don't think parents would be okay with Dasey… so it would go on a different channel and there would definitely be Dasey. **** Enough of my rants. Oh and they might be a little OOC sorry :/ **

"Casey." I said barging into her room prepared, as always, to find something to annoy her about. But then I remembered she was out with Emily for the day. "Well, she's not here seems like a perfect time to snoop." I whispered quietly. Maybe I could finally find her diary. How is it that her diary is the only thing she can manage to hide well. I checked all her usual hiding places for personal belongings and still I couldn't find it. So I decided to search her desk.

"Nothing, where in the world could she be hiding it?" As I was arriving to the thought that she probably hid her diary outside of her room I found a manila envelop in one of her clothing drawers. It looked personal so I looked inside and found it stuffed with paper. A lot of paper. Seeing as it would take awhile to sort through I grabbed it and ran out the door with barely a bye to my dad and Nora. I drove to a parking lot that had plenty of lights, in case it got dark, and began to read. Luckily for me they were all dated.

_Dear __fill in the blank here__ (I'm really not sure how to address this letter),_

_ Paul suggested I try this. I doubt it will do me much good, but here goes. I am going to try writing you a letter, a letter that you will never read of course, about everything I feel. I doubt it will make our fights any less frequent but it will certainly make my side less, well I don't know what really. Maybe I should start with the letter._

_ You infuriate me more than any living being I have __ever__ met. How is it possible, you who seem so simple minded, can challenge me to such lengths. And the amount of though and effort you put into your pranks. If only you put that into your school work, but that's beside the point. I really can't stand you. On so many levels. We argue constantly and sometimes it's about nothing and then after those arguments I don't know what to feel anymore. And half way through most of our fights I don't even know why we're mad anymore. _

_ As if the fights don't make my head spin all the way around, then there are times you actually do something nice and I'm even more confused. I even try to be nice back, and you turn it into an insulting match, like you're afraid of being civil. Maybe you are. I have to end this letter now, you just got home from another one of your dates. You know the blonde brainless dimwits you attract, what they see in you I'll never know. But anyway you will be in my room as soon as George makes you stop making out on the front porch and you'll be up here to laugh it up about how I'm home alone on a Friday night. Then you will brag about your date and someone will get insulted it will turn into yet another argument. Actually I'm kind of looking forward to it._

_ Signed,_

_ Me_

_._

_P.S. Maybe this unsent letter thing has actually helped_

I read the letter again and smirked. I didn't realize how much of an effect I really had on her. My life is so much more productive then I realized. And now to move on to the next letter.

_Dear __fill in the blank here__ ,_

_I can't believe I'm writing another letter, yet here I am… I hate you. Maybe I don't but at the moment I kind of feel that I do. Another relationship ruined, thanks to you. And sadly you didn't do anything directly this time. Apparently I talk about you too much, I could imagine that smirk sliding onto your face if you ever saw that, but it isn't how you think. I complain about how much you annoy me, how sick you make me, I complain about all the little stunts you pull. The pranks, the arguments, and somehow even when you don't try to ruin my relationship, you still do. It makes me sick. You, make me sick. _

_You know what makes me hate you more. The fact that you are almost constantly in my mind. I close my eyes and something you have done that day crosses my mind and that smirk on your face fills up my head. It is so sad. It is sad how aware of you I am. I can feel your presence when you walk into the living room. Even when you're quiet, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up like I've been electrified. Paul says, well never mind what Paul said. As a matter of face forget what Paul said. He doesn't know the whole story so he has no right to make that leap. I shudder to recall it. As a matter of fact he never said it. It no longer happened. It is completely erased from my mind. Back to how I hate you._

_ I hate that you have to find something to annoy me daily. I think you get a little thrill out of our arguments. I do admit they do get a little… intense. Especially when you move in close and glare at me with those brown eyes. You try to hide it but there is a lot of emotion in there._

_ I'm sick of this subject. I'm sick of you. I'm sick of this letter. Farewell._

_ Signed,_

_ Me._

This time I didn't want to read it twice. It was honestly a little hurtful. She hated me? I know we argue and I pull pranks but I didn't realize she hated me. I pulled out the next letter a little afraid to read it, especially when I realized it was written the same day.

I pulled out the next letter a little afraid to read it, especially when I realized it was written the same day.

_You,_

_ Okay so maybe I don't hate you. And surprisingly you haven't actually done anything recently that was nice or un-you like. I just realized it was wrong to say I hate you when I don't. But there is definitely some dislike… on both ends. But I could never hate you. Sometimes I kind of admire you. You do have a charisma and somehow people just flock to you and you have great leadership skills, when you want to. But whatever. I felt that I had to say I don't hate you._

_ Signed,_

_ As always, me._

I had to smile a little at that one. She admires me? Well actually of course she does. I'm Derek Venturi after all. And I do have to admit that there are qualities about her that I admire as well. Although I would never say that out loud. Just the way she gets so passionate about things gets me fired up. That's part of the reason I argue with her, to see her get passionate and flustered. It's sexy.

Wait a minute that thought did not just enter my head. I shake it a little bit to try and clear it when my phone rings. It's Sam.

"Hey, man what's up?" I ask, eager for a distraction.

"Nothing much, about to hit the mall. Wanna come?" I thought about it and as much as I wanted to get the previous thoughts out of my head I really wanted to continue reading.

"Maybe next time." We said our good byes and I got off the phone. I decided that as good as it had sounded earlier, reading in the car was not a good idea. I drove home ran up to my room, and started playing what is known as my angry music. This usually keeps anyone from coming in. But just in case I did lock the door. Finally settled in, I pulled out the next letter.

**Okay so this is my first LWD fanfic, and I'm hoping I had a good start. Have a lovely day **


	2. Chapter 2

I was about to begin the next letter when I heard Casey come home. I waited to see if she stayed downstairs to talk with Nora or went straight to her room. When she went to her room, which usually meant she was too tired to do anything else, I decided it was safe to continue reading.

_You,_

_ Yeah the heading changed, but I got tired of writing "Dear fill in the blank here" considering I know who these letters would be for. Then again anyone who read them would know who they were for. _

_ I don't understand you. How is it you can make me feel so many emotions at one time, and it only seems like a game to you. Have you noticed how our fights have changed? They are still as meaningless as ever of course. But have you noticed the extra passion, the spark? I've started noticing it. And maybe it's always been there and I've just never noticed it before. I blame Paul and myself for listening to him. Maybe what he said just got in my head and I imagined it all. I like that explanation better than Emily's. Not that I've talked about this with Emily, but she has made a comment or two about some things that I don't like to think about… but I do. Late at night when I can't sleep. I think. I think of mostly you, and you know what that sounds like? It sounds like I have a sad pathetic school girl crush on you. That I'm just pining away just down the hall from you. It isn't true, but the fact that I think of you at night makes it sound like it, right? _

_You're really the one to blame for my sleepless nights though. The things you do, and say, they keep me up. Why I have no idea. I know what Paul would say, and I know what Emily would say. But those aren't things I want to think about right now. Right now I can't stand you. I had to wear your shirt today because you stole all my clothes. Who knows if it was even clean. Another thought I shudder to think about. Here is something I will never admit, except for here. And I don't even really want to but I will, I kind of liked wearing your clothes. I think there is something wrong with me. I know tonight will be another sleepless night. It will be your fault again, indirectly of course, but your fault nonetheless._

_ Always,_

_ Me._

"Casey, why do you have to be so damn confusing." I say frustrated. I don't know what she's saying and it's not like I can go ask her. Deciding to try not to think about it too much I move on to the next letter.

_You,_

_ Ugh! Confusion, anger, pain, frustration, and other feelings I can't explain. How do you do it? How can you make me feel electrified? Do you know I live for our little arguments now? It's sad but it's true. I've lost interest in guys lately. And not because I'm a lesbian, because I could so see you saying that. I really don't know what it is, but no one really captures my interest anymore. Oh yeah, back to the arguments. That spark that I mentioned in my last letter makes me feel alive. I don't think I'm explaining that right. But it doesn't matter, I'm the only one who will ever see this. I guess it just makes my day a little more interesting. Always has. One thing can be said about you, it is never boring being in your presence, that is for sure. _

_You were gone today, hockey practice and then you went to Sam's. There was no arguing today. It was nice, but at the same time I missed it. But that isn't to say I missed you. I don't think I could ever miss you. I'm not even fooling myself anymore. I did miss you. Sad isn't it, that I missed you? Although it was just because I was bored. I bet you haven't noticed that I haven't even been on a date in weeks. Why would you? You don't care, and you don't notice anything. Although, I kind of hoped you would. Wishful thinking. Why do I care if you notice? I have no idea. But I noticed all the dates you went on in the past few weeks. Twelve. But they all ended differently. You came in with out George telling you to. From the sound of it, you don't even kiss good night anymore. So I'm guessing you met someone. And she rejected you… smart girl. I wonder who it is though. Who it is that have made your dates distractions. I can sense another sleepless night ahead of me as I ponder who you have a true interest in. _

_ Always,_

_ Me._

She thinks I don't notice things? Well of course she does, 'cause I act like I don't. But I notice things. I noticed how she bites her lip when she's thinking, and how she plays with her hair when she's nervous, and how her eyes flare up when I dare challenge her. And I definitely noticed that she stopped going on dates. I pick up the next letter.

_I give up on formal introductions. But hey guess what, I figured it out. I figured out why I have no interest in anyone else. I figured out why I live for arguments I figured out everything. That is all I have to say for now._

_ As always,_

_ Just me._

I reached for the next letter when there was a banging on my door and a familiar "Der-_ek_" quickly shoving everything into one of my pillow cases I threw open the door.

"What do you want Casey?" she pushed her way in and sat at my desk.

"Derek, we need to talk." I was startled but of course I didn't miss a beat.

"About what sister dearest?"


	3. Chapter 3

**So I was asked when in the series does this take place, and I can't really give a definite point in the series because it has been a long time since I've watched it. All I can say is that it takes place after her relationship with Max ended. Also I thought about writing this chapter in Casey's point of view or at least part of it but I think it should stay in Derek's. It feels right to me. Enjoy. =)**

**Disclaimer: I do not, and probably never will, own Life With Derek. How unfortunate for me =(**

Casey crossed her arms and I could tell she was angry with me. I decided to wait until she told me what she knew before I gave away anything.

"Derek, what do you have to say for yourself?" I shrugged and gave her my trademark smirk.

"I really don't know what you're talking about." I answered and she just glared.

"I know you went into my room. Somehow you forgot to put everything back in place before you left. What do you have to say about invading my privacy like that." Again I just shrugged. "Did you take anything?"

"No, of course not. I was just looking for your stupid diary. I couldn't find it so I left. Now can you go?" I motioned towards the door but she didn't move. I saw her glance at my pillow case and saw a corner of one of the letters sticking out.

"Is Derek Venturi writing love letters?" She scoffed. "So who's this girl that has grabbed your attention and turned you into such a sap?" I said nothing, no lie could come to mind at the moment. She ran to the bed to grab them but I wasn't about to let her see them. Picking her up like a baby, screaming like one too, I carried her to room. Then I shut the door and locked it again. It felt nice to hold her in my arms.

Sighing I laid back in my bed. Then I sat up with a sudden realization. What if she writes another letter?

"Edwin!" I yelled and he was at my room moments later. Good boy. I handed him the envelope with the letters I had already read and some of the later ones, I kept a few that I hadn't yet read. "Put this in Casey's second drawer of her dresser under all the clothes. Without getting caught." He saluted me and said "Yes sir." I retreated back to my room shaking my head. That is one weird kid.

I picked up the next letter and settled in to read.

_ Like I said, I figured it all out. But the realization was too much for me and I couldn't put it in the last letter. It was hard enough to snap into reality. No wonder you call me Spacey. Emily was right, all the arguments we have are powered with (I can't believe I am saying this about you, of all people) sexual tension. At least on my side. Of course that isn't the case with you. I disgust you. Paul was also right, but I'm not ready to write down that confession. _

_ Today you practically pulled me out of the bathroom. And I must've imagined your hand lingering on my waist. Then when you pulled away it almost seemed awkward, but I have a rather large imagination. Did you feel the electricity when you were touching me though? No, probably not. I always feel it, when we're in the same room, when we're arguing and we end up moving closer and closer, when we would wrestle for the remote. If you want it, you can have it I'm not risking coming into physical contact with you if I can help it. _

_ I have to go now. You just got home and I feel like picking a fight, this realization has me in a bad mood, and I'm taking it out on you. As always. And who doesn't love a good fight?_

_Me._

I hope the next letter talked about what Paul said, I was dying to know. Unfortunately it didn't.

_ I despise you, yet I love being around you. Does that make any sense? Your dates have become less frequent. I guess even the big chested blondes can't get your mind of the mystery girl. Is it Kendra? I know you broke up but it could be possible. She's nice enough I suppose but both of you can do better than the other. Not that anything is wrong with her, I like Kendra. Just not with you. Don't ask me why, I don't know. I talked to Paul today. He asked me if I had come to terms with his "thoughts" yet. I changed the subject quickly but I guess that answered his question. What he thinks is so wrong, it can't be legal. But my twisted mind had to know and guess what, it is legal. It makes sense, but that just makes my denial worse. But I prefer denial over rejection. _

_ You just barged into my room. Your hair was a mess but still looked perfect. How do you manage to do that? Oh, but I'm getting off track here. Anyway, you barged in here and I guess I've learned something from you because I did not try to cover this letter up. I was actually very proud that I suppressed the urge. And guess what, it worked. You didn't even ask about it. Must've looked like homework to you. By the way, you should really learn to knock. You came in here talking about something, and you know me I always pay attention, well I honestly have no idea what you were talking about. I was distracted by this letter and you yourself. You ruin my thinking. You ruin everything. I yelled at you to leave and you just smirked. Classic you move. But eventually you left. And now I just realized you stole my math homework. So I'm off to have another fight but in the end I'll late you copy my homework. For some reason I actually care if you flunk out or not. Bye for now._

_Me._


	4. Chapter 4

**Funny how I meant this to be a one shot. It just didn't work out that way.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD or any of the characters. *sigh***

I was getting ready to start the next letter when Nora called everyone down for dinner. I know if I tried to miss I would get questions and I would regret it later so I reluctantly made my way downstairs.

"Derek, you've been holed up in your room for an awful long time. Is something wrong?" I sighed. I love how Nora tries to get involved in my personal life, but when is the lady going to learn, if it's personal I'm not sharing. I shot Casey a look to prevent her from telling everyone about what she thought were "love letters".

"I just felt like being alone." Luckily for me, Casey actually came to my rescue.

"Hey mom, when me and Em were at the mall I saw the cutest dress for you. We'll have to go before this weekend ends." Nora smiled and they talked on and on about shopping. I ate my meat loaf in silence. Hopefully they think I'm angry and will leave me alone. As soon as I was done shoveling my food in my mouth I excused myself from the table and ran to my room.

_I had a dream last night. I think my subconscious was trying to tell me that Paul was right. Having dreams like that make it harder to be in denial, but I'm trying my hardest to keep myself in denial. But I guess admitting that I'm in denial isn't really denial. Whatever it doesn't matter. The point is I won't admit it. I'm in the mood to fight with you over something stupid. It doesn't matter what; it's easy to find something with you. I need some way to take out my anger. –As always, me._

_ How can one person be so insufferable? I can't stand you, at all. –Yours truly (and angrily), me._

I looked at the date, and I don't even remember doing anything in particular that day. I shrugged and picked up the last letter I had.

_Dear Fill in the Blank Here,_

_ Fine I will admit it. I am in love with you. How sad is that? I don't even have the energy to fight with you now. But don't worry; I will never admit it out loud. Ever, I'm not that stupid._

_ Love (unfortunately),_

_ Me._

I stared at the paper shocked. I wasn't expecting that. I walked casually downstairs and grabbed a drink out of the fridge. Seeing Casey doing the dishes I realized I was in the clear.

"Derek, you could help you know." I smirked.

"Yeah I know." And I left back to my room. Grabbing the letters I went to Casey's room and grabbed the envelope. I grabbed the last two letters and put the rest back. I peeked out her door and listened. I could hear her singing in the kitchen, so I walked over to her desk. There was another letter. I was smart to put the envelope back.

In my room I glanced over the two letters one was about average length the other was short. I was eager for her to finish the one on her desk though, because that seemed the longest.

I picked up the first letter, started reading when my door flew open. Luckily for me it was only Edwin.

"Casey's on her way up here. I went back in her room to look at that envelope and she caught me. I had to tell her how I knew where it was and she does not look happy." Then he ran out. I quickly hid the letters in one of my text books that was lying around on the floor.

"Derek." She said trying to act like she didn't care. "Did you look in that envelope?" Knowing I couldn't deny knowing the existence of the envelope because Edwin had to go and rat me out I just shrugged.

"No, it was full of writing. You know I hate to read. I told you I was looking for your diary. Why was it something important?" and I gave her my trademark smirk.

"Uh, no. It was just school work." I laughed in my head. She is such a horrible liar.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD or any songs that may or may not be mentioned in this chapter. Also I will try to make this chapter longer, I haven't written very many fanfics and I'm used to just writing and writing and not having chapters. It's a learning progress,**

Once more I kicked Casey out of my room. And picked up the next letter, I stopped wondering why I wanted to keep reading, besides the fact that it was about me. The truth is I want to know what Casey thinks of me. I never expected that she would love me. I also never expected that I would realize a few months ago that I love her too, but that's another story.

_So I admitted it, and Paul said admitting it would make me feel 10x better. It didn't. I feel 10x worse. No longer am I in denial but I'm just hiding what I feel. Not only that but I think I actually flirt a little arguments. You know I think I have gone insane, and not just for the fact that I have fallen in love with you. I don't just love you but I'm in love with you. How much more pathetic can I get? Oh here is how. There are moments when I feel you looking at me and I see this look in your eye. But it's just a short moment that it must be a trick of the light and then you say something to insult me and things are almost back to normal. Almost, but not quite. Things will never be normal between us and only I will know that because only I know the secret. Other than Paul of course but I'm not sure if he really counts at this point._

_ I am currently blasting __**I hate everything about you **__by Three Days Grace, and I wonder if you hear it and if you know it's because of you._

_I hate everything about you._

_Why do I love you?_

_You hate everything about me._

_ The sad part is the first two lines above are true about me; the last line is about you. You hate everything about me and that is all you will ever feel. Lucky me, I'm stuck with these feelings that I can never do anything about. Frankly it is a little depressing. Did you know I almost did something you would do? I almost went on a date with a guy, just to get you out of my head. But I couldn't bring myself to stoop to your actions, and I doubt it would've worked anyway. So at night I cry myself to sleep, thinking about you. Oh sure you and everyone else thinks it's because of Max, and I'm happy to keep it that way. But it's you I cry over. You who can make me angry when I'm happy, happy when I'm sad. Tonight will be another tearful night; I tear up now just thinking of everything. _

_Me._

I went ahead and skipped to the next letter, I couldn't bear the thought of Casey crying.

_I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand sleeping in a room so close to yours. It is breaking my heart seeing you everyday and there is nothing I can do about it. Our fights have become more frequent. I will find anything that you've done to yell at you about. I'm starting to hope if I yell enough I will begin to hate you. But all it does is make the problem worse. Why do you do this to me? And then my imagination has to make everything so much more worse. I imagine these moments or these looks and before I can comprehend you've done something said something or its gone and I wonder if it was ever there at all. But why would it? With no more time I will end this letter._

_You know who._

Crap, now I'll have to wait for the next letter. I decided to go bug Casey, mostly to see if she was still writing.

"Casey." I said walking into her room without bothering to knock. Sure enough she was sitting at her desk writing away.

"Der-_ek_. Can you knock just once?" I shook my head and laughed. It was so easy to irritate her. "What if I had been changing?" she said and then her cheeks turned pink as I smirked at her comment. I want to kiss her, badly. But of course I didn't. I also want to comment about her being undressed just to see her turn a darker shade of pink, but I let it drop.

"I just wanted to see what you were up to?"

"Homework." Ha! Liar. "Don't you have a date or something you should be one she said glaring.

"Nope, I am date free all weekend." Casey turned away from me but I saw the pink on her cheeks again. I wonder what she was thinking. "I'll let you get back to your homework." And then because I couldn't resist. "Maybe I don't knock cause I'm waiting to walk in on you changing." Then I gave her my trademark smirk and walked out hearing the familiar "Der-_ek_!" as I shut the door. When I got to my room I heard **I hate everything about you** coming from her and I chuckled a little. Now I have a little business to take care of.

"Edwin." I said barging into his room. He startled and dropped his book. "Do you remember when you came into my room earlier?" He nodded. "And do you remember what Casey caught you doing?" he nodded again. "Okay, listen to me, and listen well." Huh, I must've been hanging around Casey for too long to have used proper grammar. "Stay our of that folder. Do you understand?" he nodded again. "I said do you understand?"

"Yes Derek, sir."

"Good boy." I said and gave him a little pat on the cheek.

I wake up to hear Lizzie and Edwin fighting over the bathroom. Looking at the clock I groan. It is too early for being awake, let alone for all the noise. There was a knock on the door and then Casey opened the door. I pretended to be asleep.

"I know you're awake." She said sounding annoyed. "Listen George is gone for the day, and my mom and me are going to the mall to get that dress I was telling her about last night." I leaned up one arm.

"Alright. And?" she looked away and I realized that I hadn't worn a shirt to bed the night before. She was trying _not_ to look at my abs. I grinned.

"So, you are babysitting the kids." She said and then walked out slamming the door behind her. I groaned again. I went downstairs and sat in my chair until all the children had come downstairs.

"Lizzie, you're in charge of breakfast for the three of you. Edwin watch Marti while she watches cartoons. After breakfast the three of you will stay down here and watch TV until I come back downstairs. Understood?" they all rolled the eyes but said yes so I let it slide. "There should be no noise at all. If I am disrupted there will be hell to pay." They all nodded.

"Are you reading Casey's diary?" Edwin asked and Lizzie started to laugh.

"No, because he can't find it." I shook my head at the blatant disrespect I was getting from them, but again I let it slide, I have something more important to do.

I ran upstairs and searched Casey's room until I found her new hiding spot. Why she can hide her diary so well, but not these letters I couldn't understand. But it was okay because in my opinion this is better than her diary.

_This will be my last unsent letter to you. There were few letters but a lot was said. I'm not sure what I will do with them. Maybe I will hide them with my diary, maybe I will burn them. I was in your room earlier and I saw papers in your pillow case. You looked pretty embarrassed that I saw them. I assumed they were love letters, maybe like mine that you didn't send, but with your confidence you will, and you didn't deny it. This mystery girl really has you hooked though. I hope you treat her right but it seems like your changing for her. The dates have stopped completely, and now you're writing love letters? This is something I never thought I would say but she's lucky to have you that is if she ever accepts you. And of course she will, what you want you get. Of course when I saw those letters my already broken heart broke some more. You unknowingly broke my heart, and I still love you will all the pieces. That will never go away; I will never find someone else that feels so right for me. But eventually I will find someone, but they will always be second best. Always. Another song that reminds me of you __**I hate myself for loving you **__by Joan Jett. And I really do. I hate that I fell in love with you. I probably would even if we weren't step siblings, just because you are who you are, but not as much as I do now. Because I have to live with it and live with you. Sometimes I think I'm ready to burst and just tell you how I feel. Other times I feel ready to burst with tears. At school I see some blonde in the hallway acting like a whore and putting herself out there and I want to die. I've never had someone make me feel so broken in my life. And now you have found this girl, the girl you're actually serious about and now I have never been so jealous in my life. The other day we were fighting about who knows what and you said something, all I could think about was kissing you and so I stormed off to my room. You thought you had won and in a way you have. You hold all the pieces and fragments of my heart and you don't even know it. Remember when I mentioned being in your room earlier? You carried me out, and it was nice being close to you, but at the same time it tore me apart. I dream about you holding me in your arms I dream about kissing you and I can't make them go away. I don't sleep at all anymore because the dreams are too much, the tears are too much, and the pain is too much. I would say that I wish I never met you but it wouldn't be true because being with you feels like it would be right. How delusional am I? I've tried arguing more, I've tried avoiding you, I have tried everything I can think of to change my feelings and they have not gone away. I don't think they ever will, but like I said I will find someone maybe. But he will only be second best compared to you, and I have already given my heart away. It is no longer mine, and I think you've had it for a long time I just never noticed. I hope you never find out about any of this because the embarrassment would be too much. The look of disgust that would be on your face would be too much for me._

_ I used to think that our relationship was just a hate, but now I realize its just a love-hate relationship. I love and you hate. Something else about us that is opposite. It's strange really, we have so many things different about us, I always forget about the things we have in common. You might not realize it but we do have things in common._

_ You were just in my room again. I lied and said I was doing homework. The whole conversation really isn't that important what is important is what you said when you left. You said you don't knock because you're waiting to walk in on me changing… you shouldn't say things like that. First I wonder if you mean it then I realize I am an idiot and you don't then I kind of wish you did and then I hate myself for wishing that and it goes on and on in pretty much the same fashion. Oh if you only knew the things you put me through. _

_ I hope you are very happy with the mystery girl, and I hope that she is everything you were looking for in a girl. People say that you date so many girls because you just need to find the right one; well I'm hoping she is it. In my heart you are "the one" for me but in my head I know its just a stupid fantasy. I wish my heart for once would agree with my head. But since you have my heart and we can't agree on a thing I guess it makes sense._

_ Anyway this will have to be the last letter I write to you because its no longer helping to release my feelings for you. They remain as bottled as ever. Not to mention I am trying to make this unrequited love as un-pathetic as I can, and writing you these letters you are never going to see, well it seems pathetic to me. Maybe over time it will become easier to hide my feelings. Then again, maybe it won't._

_ I'll never understand how I came to fall in love with you._

_Sadly lost of love,_

_Just me._

I put the letter back where it belonged and went downstairs to pretend to watch the kids. And I was keeping an eye on them but the whole time I was coming up with a plan.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the late update, I already had the plan in mind I just wasn't sure how to play it out but I want go into too much detail about all the distractions. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own LWD = ( *pouts***

About an hour before Casey and Nora arrived I had the idea. The moment they walked in the door I was halfway upstairs. I was going to write Casey a letter. I was very proud of coming up with the idea. And even if the letter doesn't completely convey how I feel, the fact that I actually wrote a letter would have to show it. I sat down at my desk and wrote.

"Yes, I'm done!" I said, relieved. Looking up at the clock on my computer I saw the time was two-eighteen. Groaning I realized I still had to figure out how to get the letter to her and couldn't get to sleep until I figured that out. And I didn't just want to hand it to her, I wanted to surprise her. Food could help, I told myself and deciding it was a good idea I went into the kitchen to eat. "Where is all the food?" I sighed. It was about time to go grocery shopping. I kept looking but all I could find was Casey's stupid health cereal. Shrugging I took it down, and realized that it was heavier than cereal. I looked inside and almost started dancing. "So that's where she's been hiding it." I smirked and took out her diary. I flipped through it, but didn't really read anything because I just had an idea on how to give her the letter.

"Hey Case." Derek said barging in my room once again. He looked like he hadn't slept much and his hair was a mess but it still looked good on him. He always looks good.

"What do you want Derek?" I said doing my best to sound annoyed, it wasn't too difficult considering it did bug me that he never knocked.

"I just wanted to have a conversation with you. And by conversation I mean I talk and you listen and then I leave." I shrugged.

"Make it quick."

"I remembered that I had an English assignment due last minute and I wanted you to look over it and really fix anything that would make it look better. But I didn't really feel like giving it to you. So I left it in your 'special' hiding place. You know exactly what I'm talking about." He smirked just like he always does. I tried not to panic. There were only two places he could be talking about because he didn't know where I kept my diary I had kept it perfectly hidden.

"What are you talking about?" he shrugged

"By the way, I think you're out of cereal." He smirked again and then he was gone. Once I heard his bedroom door shut I was running downstairs. I grabbed the cereal box I use to hide my diary. I pulled it out and paper fell out.

"Der-_ek_!" I shouted. I don't even want to check over his English homework anymore. Did he have to put it in my diary? Sighing I took his English paper upstairs. I tried opening his door but it was locked so I yelled into his room. "I'm only doing this because I don't want to have to deal with it if you fail the class." Without waiting for a response I went off to my room muttering about how insufferable he is. I sat at my desk and unfolded his assignment.

_Dear Casey,_

_Obviously from that you can see that this is not an English assignment. But don't stop reading, please? Yeah I bet that got your attention, Derek Venturi does not say please but I'll make an exception. I have lived next door to you for over a year, I have sat across from you at the dinner table for over a year, and we have argued for over a year, and guess what I have loved you for over a year. I bet you didn't expect that did you? Are you crying, please don't start crying now. You're so emotional. I love how when you're mad at me and you're yelling your hair gets all out of place and it's messy it's so sexy. I love how when you first wake up before you put make up on you look perfect. I love how you challenge me. I love how you rise to the occasion when I get on your nerves and you don't just let it go. I love how you will wrestle me for the remote. Basically I just love you. I didn't plan on it but it happened. I sleep next door to you every night and it kills me inside that I can't have you. But I'm tired of holding it in and I have to tell you. You mean the world to me. You probably think I don't have a fear of rejection the way I'm confessing all of this to you but I have to say I'm only telling you because you told me first. Now don't be mad, but I read the letters. All of them, all the letters you never meant for me to read. But I love you, I really do and I would have told you sooner but I'm not known for being in love or a one girl kind of guy. But for you I would. You were right there is a reason I have stopped dating, she's brunette with blue eyes and her name is Casey. I'm not saying I deserve you but I want you Casey, and I need you. I believe we were made for each other. Yeah that was cheesy but I don't care because I believe it's true. And it isn't wrong, I looked it up and you said so yourself, but we don't have to tell dad and Nora if you want. And that's assuming you even want me, which I know you do. You can make up excuses about the letters come up with as many lies as you want but I know the truth. I know how you feel, and I feel the same way. I want to be with you Casey MacDonald, and only you. Its you, it always has been. Anyway, knowing you, you'll want to talk about this… so whenever you're ready come on down the hall. The room next to yours. I'll be here. Fill in the blank here._

_-Derek_

_P.S. In case you don't know what to fill in the blank with, I love you. _

**Again, sorry for the late update but I hope you enjoy it. The letter isn't as long and sweet as I wanted it but that was as good as I could get it.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/n to anyone who still reads my work, I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in, well years. I got so busy with school and working and everything that I lost time for updating my fanfics... and then I just lost time for writing. So this is me, hoping to start writing again. It won't be too great because for one it's been awhile and for two it's pretty late and I'm exhausted, also it may be a little short. But here's at least something to get started. Ooh also thanks for any reviews from past fans, it really helped inspire me to write again. I promise to write soon!**

I sat lying in my bed staring at the ceiling waiting for Casey to respond. I wasn't sure if she was going to be angry about the letters, happy about my response, or what was going to happen. I looked at the clock next to my bed, it had been almost ten minutes, and I know she had already read it. I started to get worried, even though I knew how she felt; I still have this idea that she's going to reject me. I was pondering this frightening possibility when my IM alert went off on my computer. I walked over, not really in the mood to talk to anyone. That was until I saw it was from Casey.

**Kinda_spacey: You read the letters?**

**2hott2handle: Yes… but in my defense, it's because I couldn't find your diary and I found those instead. I was curious. I don't know why you didn't hide them as good as your diary; they seemed to hold more secrets.**

**Kinda_spacey: hide them as well…**

**Kinda_spacey: I'm mortified…**

**2hott2handle: Whatever grammar Nazi… Come and talk to me. After all those letters, this conversation needs to be had in person… please.**

**Kinda_spacey: This is a stupid prank, Derek. Yes, now you know my big secret… but playing on my emotions, telling me you love me, that's low even for you. We're almost done with high school, we can just pretend like this never happened, avoid each other as much as possible. You don't have to make a joke out of it.**

**2hott2handle: Case, I'm not making a joke out of it. This is really a conversation I want to have in person, so you can see how serious I am. Don't you know how much I hate writing, and yet I wrote a love letter for you. I know in the past I was a playa, and I know we've argued… but I meant every word of that letter. So please come talk to me**

She didn't respond but I didn't hear movement in the hallway either. I was afraid to move, afraid to say the wrong thing. I waited for what seemed like eternity when finally there was a reply.

**Kinda_spacey: The infamous Derek, saying please twice in one day. We should mark this day in history. I'll come talk to you tonight, after everyone falls asleep. If only it were easier to say no to you.**

And then she logged off and I was left to wait.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/n: Thanks to anyone who is still with me! **

At first I thought the waiting would kill me, but then had the realization that I could plan. I should have realized it would be harder to convince Casey that I wasn't lying. I had to prove that I meant every word. Eight o' clock hit and it was Marty's bedtime. I had begun pacing in my bedroom searching every inch of my brain for something that would prove to Casey that I love her. I rolled my eyes; of course she would be the most difficult girl to impress. Unsure of what to do next, I did what any love-sick unsure guy would do… I turned to the internet. I googled ways to impress a hopeless romantic girl. The second link looked completely useless, "7 tips on how to understand a nonromantic girl" _not even remotely close to what I looked up. _Giving up on that, I thought back to all the stupid chick flicks Casey loved to watch and I came up with an idea.

I looked at the clock. Ten-thirty. I decided to give it another half hour and I would go talk to Derek. _Why am I talking to him in the first place?_ And I sighed, because I knew the answer. I couldn't say no to him. I can't believe he read the letter. I hated him for it. But Paul was right; it was strangely liberating having him know. It was also restricting knowing that he would now forever hold this over my head; I could never win anything, always afraid that he would tell my secret.

I refused to even consider the possibility that he might have been serious in his letter. I did admit I was touched that he took the time to write out the letter for his stupid prank. It was a cruel prank, for a second I actually believed him, but I've seen the types he dates and I do not fit into that type. Why did he have to go and read those stupid letters? Why did I have to go and write all those stupid letters? Why did Paul tell me to write those stupid letters? I thought back to what he said, why didn't I try harder to hide them?

Suddenly there was a soft knock on the door. I ran to it hoping, praying, that it was Lizzie and I could prolong my talk just a little longer. I opened the door to instead find what slightly resembled Derek. His usually mussed hair had been combed back and he was dressed in nice black pants, a sky blue button down shirt, and a black blazer. I didn't even know he owned a button down… or a blazer. And I'm not sure what shocked me more, the fact that he was all dressed up with combed hair, or that he actually knocked on the door this time. Before I had time to question his appearance he greeted me with a "Good evening Casey." Since when does Derek say good evening? He smiled, not the trademark Derek Venturi smirk, but a real smile and my heart did a little flutter. Stupid heart, stop that. I was no different than any girl Derek had ever dated, here I was thinking I was resistant to his charms, and here I am swooning over his smile. I stood still, afraid to say the wrong thing, not sure what to say.

"May I come in?" he asked, ever so politely.

"Um, yeah… sure." _Real smooth Case._ I moved out of the way to allow him entrance to the bedroom. I wasn't sure what was going on anymore, even this was too much for one of Derek's pranks… I hoped. But it was never good to underestimate him. From behind his back he pulled out a bouquet of daisies, my favorite flower. Something I had never voiced out loud, least of all to Derek.

I took them from him, unsure of what to do next. I look up at Derek expectantly, after all he had been the one to ask to talk.

"We'll talk soon" he said simply and I was rewarded with his classic smirk that I both loved and hated so much. And then he was gone.

"What games are you playing now, Derek?" I murmured to myself. I looked again at the flowers in my hand and I smiled. Did he know they were my favorite? As I admired the beautiful bouquet I noticed a card attached.

_Case-_

_ Be in my room at 11:30. Doesn't matter what you wear because I know whatever you're wearing you'll look beautiful. I promise, this is not a prank, you'll see._

_Love,_

_Derek_

_P.S. And yes (because I know you're wondering and over analyzing this) I did know they were your favorite flowers. See you soon!_

So many thoughts flowed through my mind at once. I now had no idea what to expect during out little talk.

Finally eleven-thirty arrived and I almost decided to stay hidden in my room, but I knew that eventually I would have to come out, and eventually I would have to face him. I also couldn't stay away, how sad.

After several deep breaths, I knocked on Derek's door, unsure of what was waiting for me behind it. When a nervous Derek answered the door, what I saw took my breath away.

**Quick note, I chose daisies for the flowers because of the Dasey pairing :P just in case no one caught that.**

**So that's chapter 8, I know it may be kind of short, and I meant to make it longer but that cliff hanger was just too hard to resist. But don't worry, chapter nine is already being written.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks again for all the reviews! You guys are so awesome. Anyway, here is chapter nine. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Derek stood nervously by the door while I stood in the door way afraid to enter. I thought I was dreaming. His room had been cleaned, on the floor was a large blanket set up like a blanket and there were candles lit all around the room. The floor was strewn with daisy petals; it was beautiful, and romantic.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

"I love it." I whispered. He took my hand and led me into the room shutting the door behind me. "You cleaned your room. When did you have time to go and get all of this?" Derek shook his head and showed me to a spot on the floor.

"You look beautiful Casey." I could feel my cheeks turning pink.

"Thank you." He sat across from me on the blanket and pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. Then he cleared his throat and I waited expectantly.

"Casey, I know in the past I have been known as a player. But everything with you is differently. You're so beautiful, smart, and passionate. I've never met anyone like you, and you make me want to be a better person." He paused. "Oh wow that sounds cliché. Sorry." and he smiled up at me, but I cold see he was still nervous, his hands were shaking. "Everything you thought you imagined in those letters was true, every spark the feelings, the moments, they were all there. I love you so much, and I know it's hard for you to believe, and I don't blame you. What I do know is that I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you how much I love you." He stopped. "Uh, yeah that's it. I just want you to know, I'm serious. I meant every word. This isn't some kind of prank."

I was stunned; who knew something that beautiful could come from Derek's mouth, his mind. "I made us dinner." And he opened a tray of peanut butter sandwiches, I started laughing. "What you don't like it?" he suddenly looked afraid.

"Oh, no. I love it, all of it. It's amazing, and beautiful. Thank you, for all of it." Derek smiled, no longer appearing nervous, but I suddenly was.

"Casey?" he said scooting next to me, taking his hands in mine. "I love you." My breath caught in my throat.

"I love you too." He cupped my face in his hands and leaned closer to me.

"Do you believe me now?" I nodded and he kissed me, and the spark I thought I had been imagining was there, and this time I knew it was real

* * *

_Ten years later…_

I sat waiting in the living room for Casey to get home from work. I ran my hands through my hair nervously. I hated waiting. I thought back to our first date on my bedroom floor. Ever since then things have been perfect, we've had our moments of course, and we still argue like there's no tomorrow. But it's who we are. We told our parents a year later; they responded with "We know." I loved this woman. I loved every side of her, the side everyone gets to see. The work-a-holic, perfectionist, and the side that very few know; the Casey that is passionate and honest and kind and wonderful.

"Derek are you in here?" Casey yelled as she walked into the house. I struggled to not jump up in excitement, and tried to remain relaxed and casual.

"In the living room." I responded. She walked in a few minutes later, looking breath taking as usual. "Hey babe." I said getting off the couch and greeting her with a kiss. "You got some mail." I handed her the envelope, addressed to her, with no return address.

"Hmm I wonder who its from." She murmured opening it, this is what she read.

_Casey, every second, of every minute, of every day, is better just knowing that I can call you mine. I love you, and I always will. Will you, Casey MacDonald marry me?_

_Derek Venturi_

_P.S. Look up_

And when she looked up at me, with tears in her eyes, I was there down on one knee with a beautiful ring for a beautiful woman. She grabbed a pen, and wrote on the back of my note:

_Yes!_

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**Well that's the end guys. I hope you enjoyed it. I've already started a new LWD fanfic, so maybe in a couple hours or tomorrow I'll have the first chapter up. But be warned the idea will probably only last a couple chapters so don't expect too much! Thanks again for all the reviews, I appreciate them so much.**


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